I started today off with my mid-year trip to the dentist.
I can see you squirming. Heck, the five people closest to you just heard you moan. Dont’ worry, I expected you to react that way. I mean, when was the last time you heard someone say, “Oh, you’re going to the dentist this morning? Damn, I’m freakin’ JEALOUS!”
Yeah, that shit never happens.
My dentist is pretty laid back. He’s a throw-back to the kind of dentist you’d find about thirty years ago, though up to date on the latest techniques. The waiting area gives a nod to the 80s with maroon carpet and hunter green walls, and I’m pretty sure his practice has always been in the same building. Despite his antiquated ways, I like the guy. He actually cleans my teeth. I know, right? What dentist does that anymore?
Anyway, I was laying there, my gut clenched and my feet flexed so my toes pointed at the sky, thinking, “This sucks.” It’s just damned awkward opening your mouth and letting someone scrape away a bunch of crap while they ramble on about where they’re thinking of going for vacation. Not that I minded his conversation. It made for nice white noise while I tried not to think about what might happened if he missed with the miniature-sized backhoe he raked across my teeth and nabbed my gums instead.
Still, my mind drifted…
Out of nowhere, I remembered someone telling me about a dentist where people gave a mani/pedi while your teeth got the once-over. I still haven’t remembered who told me. I gotta figure it out though, ‘cause—nice guy or not—my dentist doesn’t offer that perk and I’m all about the multi-tasking.
But I wonder…would it really work? On the distraction, I mean. Will someone massaging and painting my toes help me relax? Will it make it any less uncomfortable to lay there with my mouth wide open, wondering if the breath mint covered the cup of coffee I drank on the way over? (Hey, a girl’s gotta actually be awake to drive.)
The next thing you know, my brain leapfrogged around to all the other uncomfortable appointments we get to whistle through as adults. Guys get the good-old, turn-your-head-to-the-left-and-cough routine—not sure how a doc could add a comfortable perk to that one. We gals get our yearly visit to the Gyno. The nurses try to help us out by putting cutsy pictures on the ceiling, but a picture can only go so far.
Which brings me to my point—You just can’t sugarcoat awkward.
Have you ever found the perfect diversion for a necessary evil? Care to share what your most dreaded appointment is? Or how you manage to cope? You know I love to hear from you guys…if nothing more than to remind me I’m not a raving loon with a mind that’s been left unsupervised. 🙂