Respect the Cave

I’m a responsible adult.  I swear I am.  I pay my bills on time, my kids are clothed, fed, and do well in school.  I hold down a full time job and pay my taxes.

But I have a confession…

I’m a news hermit.

Yes, I know you can interpret that about a gazillion kinds of ways, so let me make it clearer…

I live under a rock.  A great big fat one thick enough to withstand a nuclear attack that that shields me from anything remotely tied to world or local events.

You think I’m kidding?  I’m fairly certain I was the last person on the planet to learn about the big Sports Illustrated expose on Oklahoma State and football.  And the only reason I learned as much as I did was because I met T.D. Hart for a two hour stretch of plotting and she’s a die hard OSU fan.

When it comes to national news, I rely on my co-workers to clue me in on catastrophic events or impacts to the stock market.  Other than that, I’m outsville.

It’s not that I don’t want to know.  It’s more a case of me not having time to watch the news or scan the local/national internet.  And when I DO find the time to watch, it stresses me the hell out.

You see, I’m kinda like a human Swiffer–crap just clings to me.  That includes negativity.  And come on, let’s be honest.  The news is about ninety percent depressing and ten percent sensationalism.  (Ok.  Maybe it’s more like fifty-fifty.)

I remember when I was doing real estate.  (Yes, my resume reflects my short attention span.)  I used to drive around and listen to Fox News in an effort to improve my knowledge of world, financial and local events.  All I got from the experience was a nervous tick and too many near-miss auto collisions to count.

Nowadays, the bulk of my TV watching is during fly-bys from my office to the kitchen.  About the only time I actually sit down and actively watch what’s on is when there’s a new Sons of Anarchy episode, or when we carve out a family movie night.  That’s it.

I realize this isn’t responsible adult behavior.  But you know what?  I’m relatively happy.  The only drama I have to contend with is what’s created by work, my family or myself–which is plenty, I assure you.  I not only like my rock, I’ve turned it into a stylish bunker complete with neon curtains, door beads, and a vast array of lava lamps.

What about you?  Are you “in the know” on all things political and social?  Or do you struggle to catch the weather forecast and your horoscope?  Wanna come hang out at my place?