7 In Thoughts & Observations

Secrets Aren’t All Bad

You know a Girls’ Night Out has registered on the high end of exceptional when everyone heads to their cars at the end and someone calls out, “If you blog about this next week, I’ll deny it ever happened.”

Yeah, my gal pals know me well….

No, I’m not going to break the sacred girlfriend pact on the internet.  Vegas rules apply on GNO for a reason.  But the event has caused me to re-evaluate and modify one of my long standing tenants:  Secrets Are Evil.  Most Secrets Are Evil.

There’s a good reason for the phrase, “You’re only as sick as the secrets you keep.” I learned early on how those little bastards can fester in your soul and rot you from the inside out.  But, after my last GNO at the Mercury Lounge with my writer friend, T.D. Hart, I realized some secrets foster intimacy.  They can make you giggle for days after they’re born and forge a unique kind of bond that even time and distance would be hard-pressed to sever.

Since it’s all out of the closet now (and my ashtray long put away), I’ll use the secret that brought me and my friend Christy together. We weren’t really tight yet.  In fact, we’d only just met a handful of weeks before when I’d kidnapped recruited her to work with me on a project.

Christy was a smoker.  So was I, but on the sly.  Not sure why I snuck around.  Maybe because I was younger and still gave a damn what people thought.  Regardless, I loved my nicotine and wanted a fix like all the other good addicts, but had nowhere to go during work hours where I wouldn’t get busted.

So what did my soon-to-be best buddy do?  She found me a secret hidey hole in a neglected part of the building we worked in and we made like chimneys every chance we got.

Christy and I have been tight ever since.

Our communes with nicotine in that rundown corner of the building built a rock-solid friendship I’m grateful for every, single day.  If I were to show up at her front door with a shovel and duct tape, she’d grab her keys and a few bottles of wine, follow me out the door for a good bit of dirty work, and never bat an eye.

And it all started with a secret.

Do you have any relationships that started with a secret?  Can you keep them?  Have any stories you can tell (that won’t make you break any pacts)?



You Might Also Like


  • Reply
    Marianna Heusler
    August 7, 2013 at 2:32 pm

    I am afraid that all of my secrets are buried in my writing.

    • Reply
      August 7, 2013 at 6:15 pm

      Oh, Marianna! We gotta get you out to GNO, girlfriend! LOL

  • Reply
    Karen McFarland
    August 7, 2013 at 2:51 pm

    I love this post Rhenna. It really got me thinking. Which I think is what we’re supposed to do. And you know, at first I thought, do I have any secrets that turned into a relationship? Then it dawned on me, yes I do. My husband. 🙂

    • Reply
      August 7, 2013 at 6:16 pm

      Those are the best ones. 🙂

  • Reply
    CJ Burright
    August 7, 2013 at 4:17 pm

    Not sure if this counts as a secret or more than voicing to that perfect person emotions that had been locked in my heart. My relationship with my best friend began in college. We had a class together, I don’t know that I had even talked to her before, but the class was headed somewhere as a group, and I spotted my ex-boyfriend across the courtyard. He’d just cheated on me (scumsucker) and I’d been totally cool and mature about our breakup, no bitchfit or name-calling. I mean, who wants to waste the energy on a cheater anyway? But seeing him triggered a tidal wave of disgust. I started spouting off exactly what I thought of him to her. Instant friendship. We’re still besties. I think it’s the sharing and connecting part that triggers relationships.

    • Reply
      August 7, 2013 at 6:16 pm

      I think it counts. That one little moment when everything snapped together. TOTALLY COUNTS.

  • Reply
    August 7, 2013 at 9:30 pm

    very cool post. I will have to think on it some more, because I can’t think of an answer to your question. But I do know that I will never try to plan a surprise birthday party for my hubby again. Keeping all that secret from him, almost killed me. Ha!

  • Leave a Reply